Hurt!

This world is not always an easy place to live in for so many reasons, one being that even the people who love each other, hurt each other sometimes. As Christians, we seek to live a life that is not selfish and self-centred, but instead one that is first focused on God, and then his people, yet in our fallen state we fail. We never set out or intend to hurt others, and yet we do.

What really fascinates me is this: When we hurt someone else, if we are the kind of person that seeks reconciliation and if we in fact know that we have hurt them, we apologise and try to achieve restoration. Yet when someone else hurts us we seem to find it so difficult to comprehend and then furthermore, to get over the anger or hurt their transgression evoked in us. I have watched in wonder at people hurt others and act selfishly but then turn around and hold somebody else at ransom for doing a similar thing.

It seems all too easy to merely say that God extended grace to us and that we should do the same. When we say it so simply and flippantly, it seems to not carry the weight that brings us to change, nor does it have a connection with our hearts in terms of how we treat other people. We know in our heads the truth of what God has done for us, we know in our minds that God extended grace to us, but we still continue living in the same ways and only extending grace if and when it suits us, or our hearts will allow.

It astounds me even more how easily we see the sin of others but are incapable of seeing it in ourselves! Even and especially when it is exactly the same sin.

There are two stories that come to mind in being oblivious to our own sin. The one is a parabale told by Jesus and the other is a story of a real man who lived life on the same earth we do. Matthew 18:21-25 is parable that Jesus told in reponse to Peter's question on forgiveness. A king extended grace to his servant and released him from his debt, and yet the very same man punished his own servant. It really makes me sit up when He says that if this is how we deal with others, then this is how God will deal with us! Ouch!
In 2 Samuel 12:1-13 Nathan is sent to David by the Lord to make him aware of his own sin. The way Nathan does this is very smart and makes me think a lot about how I can become more aware of my own sin. He tells Nathan a paralled story to David'ds life. Of course Davis is easily able to see the wrong, and even gets angry hearing this story. But it is only when Nathan says to Him "You are the man!" (not in a good way!), that he able to see his fault.
How am I then going to be able to repent of sin I do not realise exists within me!? My answer is this: By meditating on verses like "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
And then when looking at others sin, using that as an opportunity to question my own heart and determine if in fact the very same fault lies within me!

This post started out as an endeavour to figure out a way of dealing with the hurt we experience and cause. As sinful people we will never eliminate this. And yet in conclusion I realise that it is not the hurt that needs to be dealt with in such a radical fashion (although that aspect is important for restoration), but it is really our relationship with God, the re-awakening of what he has done for us, and then the realisation that we do not see ourselves as we ought. We are recipients of grace that we do not deserve. We sin. We mess up. We fall. We disappoint. We fail. All. The. Time. And yet God showed us love in an incomprehensible way. Knowing this, we should at least attempt to do the same.

So it has been a while since I blogged. I have quite a number of posts that are half written, imagine the task of writing a book!
But I always love to go back and read my previous posts because it reminds me that through the ups and downs that God is always at work in my life.

Whether we feel God's presence or not, whether we feel weak or strong, whether we are in a deep valley or soaring on the wings of eagles, God is ever-present. He is always there. He is always working. His patience abounds. And his love evermore.

This weekend I had the privelege of being part of a beautiful and very special wedding! I could tell you about the stunning bride, and boy was she looking amazing!, or the smart groom. I could tell you about the delicious chocolate cake (that I only got a few bites of mind you, before we were whisked away for photos), or the apple strudel that was made while we were watching, or the deathly divine chocolate mousse, whaaat!? I love chocolate ok! ;) I could tell you about the crazy fun times with old and new friends, making memories and then ripping up the dance floor. Yes I could tell you about all that and so much more! But what I really want to tell you about is about is God in a wedding.

In this couple God orchestrated the most beautiful love story from their meeting to their wedding day. Some people say how can God be concerned with the minor details of life, yet I have seen it play out. Two people that love him and his hand guiding them. The speeches were a testimony of their character and love for God and people. And the best man summed it up an an apt sentence, and I paraphrase,"The world is a better place now that the two of you are together".

That got me to thinking... is the world a better place for having me in it, am I a blessing to those around me? Is my love for God evident in my life? And is my love for people obvious?
Yes! Not to those questions, but Yes! God is at work in my life and in my heart even in the midst of a happy and beautiful wedding because two people said "I do".

Photo by Craig Mannheim
Unprecedented Pictures
http://unprecedentedpictures.co.za/

Wake up!!!

Time just keeps flying by without any thought of it, the seconds whizz by, the minutes roll on, the hours pass, the days disappear and the hands on the clock just keep on turning without stopping. Before you know it, highschool is over, varsity is finished, the kids are getting big, have grown up, the children are married, have moved away and you wonder where all the years have gone!?

One of the things I realise more and more every year is how much I take things for granted! Wise sayings are well known for a reason... "You don't know what you have, until it's gone"... how much do we take for granted every single day, not even realising that all these precious things, moments and people are only here for a season and then they will be gone! And even more so, how much do we have in abundance that we don't even stop to think about or appreciate at all.

I wish that I could freeze time and take note of the beauty and enjoy every precious moment and be thankful for all of the wonderful things God has given to me, and love them in their time, and not only when they are gone!

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14 In the context of eternity our lives are short! And what James says is true, we don't know what will happen tomorrow! God has given us so much in our short lives, we never even stop to think about much of it, nor about how long these things will be around.

We don't know what tomorrow brings, but God knows. We need to appreciate what he has so lovingly and graciously given to us. We have so much more than we could ever need, yet we don't acknowledge him at all. We don't give him thanks, let alone think about how we can use what he has given us for him!!

It's time to wake up, look around and actually see what's around us! And then remember where it all came from!

I'm Yours

Some cool lyrics:

Is anybody out there? Is there anyone who hears me tonight?
Because I'm growing tired, tired of always pretending...
Pretending I'm doing fine, pretending I've got it all figured out, pretending that I'm all right, without you, without you...

I used to think my ways were right, it's safe to say I didn't see this coming, you know I didn't see you coming
And now I'm getting tired, so sick of my own voice, tired of my own voice
Pretending I'm doing fine, pretending I've got it all figured out, pretending that I'm all right, without you, without you...

God I know you're out there, I know you hear me tonight, I know you hear me tonight
Long ago I lost count of all the times I let you down, all the times I let you down
But then I heard you say to me, won't you come home to me son...

Forgiven oh so completely, adopted so unconditionally, alive in you, show me what to do... I'm yours
Forgiven oh so completely, adopted so unconditionally, alive in you, show me what to do... I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours...

Compromised life

My blog is called "Uncompromising life...". I clearly chose that because my aim is to run my race as such, and in ideal circumstances, if I was perfect, I would of course be able to do this. Yet, (*news flash*) I'm not! This can sometimes be a pretty frustrating thing and I can truly identify with Paul when he says in Romans:
"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing."..."What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"

So what do I do when I trip and find myself on the floor with bloody knees and sandy hands!? I guess the "right" answer would be to pick myself off the floor, clean myself up and keep moving forward. I suppose that works too in perfect circumstances. But life, and the world is far from perfect and so am I. I could pretend that it's easy to get up, that once you decide to move forward you don't fall again, that your wound heals instantly, but you know as well as I that it wouldn't be reality.
My reality is both victory and failure, there are times I know I have leant as much as humanly possible on God, where He has been my number one focus, and all I did was to please Him and draw others close to Him. Yet sadly, there have also been so many times I have not. So many things I wish I could go back and change. I could take back what I did, grab those hurtful, damaging words that flew too easily out of my mouth, rectify the wrong that I did and the hurt I caused, and somehow apologise for that which I did. But alas, time never did go backwards, and words can never be unspoken, and some apologies are not enough to undo what damage is done...
My reality seems more like the cycle of the Israelites in the time of judges. A regretable cycle of failing and repentance... I am glad though that it is not just a downward spiral!

And then I can also identify with Paul's words that follow: "Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
I am thankful that God is at work in me, and He never lets me onto that downward spiral. I am thankful that there is victory through Christ, and that He is the one who saves me from my body of death! That He is true and He is always constant. And that, even though it doesn't always logically make sense I know He can be trusted.

Uncompromising light!

Did anyone ever stand up to anything that stood out to you? It may have been something small, something huge, something blatant, indirect...
Ok so the the seed of this thought was an action of a friend of a friend...this person had decided that they would no longer watch any movies with profanity in. I don’t know this person, I have never seen them, in fact I do not even know their name...yet their stand to live wholeheartedly for God had an impact on my life! And I am sure they are unaware of that as well!

I don’t think we stop and think often enough of the impact our actions/or lack thereof can have on other people.
Just consider these verses from Matthew chapter 5 for a moment: "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (14-16)
That people may see your? deeds...which causes them to praise God. We shoul live a life in such a way that when people see our actions they will turn to God in praise. If we live like the world, they will see nothing different than what they already see...darkness.

Now I’m not talking about behaviour modification here, I’m talking about a change in heart. A desire to please God in all, to impact the lost, and encourage fellow believers. In fact, living a life without compromise would not be worth your while if it were not for God, as it is not likely to bring you popularity...

I just wonder, when will our desire to please God be enough? When will bringing honour and glory to God be first? When will it be more important than being comfortable? When will it be more important than being “cool”?
Let your uncompromising light shine with wreckless abandon!

Illogical Trust

For the past few weeks I have been wanting to write something, yet there were so many thoughts in my head and so much in my heart that I expected them all to explode into the paper in some sort of unintelligible shrapnel.

These past weeks through many hills and valleys there has been a common thread weaving its way through the fabric of my life...trust. Not trust in myself, not in my own abilities, not in people, friends, family but trust in my creator.

The first person I encountered in my awakening was Gideon. Basically at that time he was put in charge of saving the Israelites from the Midianites (big scary army of about 135000) But first he gets Gideon to cut his army down from the standing 32000. I wonder if Gideon at this stage is thinking...hmmm...ok surely the more people the better our chance of winning, especially seeing as we’re outnumbered already. So he says to them "Whoever is fearful and trembling, let him return home" and get this: 22000 (yes - no typo) leave. And then if 10 000 is not small enough, God cuts the army down to a meager 300. Seems impossible, yet Gideon trusts God. We have to remember at this stage that Gideon could not read ahead in the book of Judges to see the outcome as we can. From where he stood it didn’t seem the logical outcome looking at the odds, yet still he trusted God...and God was faithful to deliver him!

Then another person, Andy Stanley, has a series called "The best question ever" which is largley about wisdom and it got me to thinking about God’s wisdom. Sometimes God has these laws and requirements of us that we just don’t understand. Often in the past I have thought, "But why?" and something I have learnt is that it doesn’t matter. Think of it this way: As a parent or teacher we often have to stipulate and enforce rules on children. They have no clue why and seem to resist it, yet we in our maturity and experience know that it’s for their own good. See where I’m going with this. God is the ultimate and perfect father and knows what is good! So that is why I say we don’t always need the answer...we just need to trust that he knows best...which he does! There are some things that we can’t see or understand in our human logic and knowledge.

Then there are men and women I think about such as Noah, he built a massive boat even though there had never been any rain before, people must have thought he was losing his mind. Moses leading his people for so long and hitting a dead-end (so it seemed). Mary facing public ridicule...I’m sure a virgin birth didn’t seem credible to those around her. I could go on and yet with each person my words could not do justice to the faith they had and the complete trust they put in God.

In my own life the last trial I faced brought me to my knees. I didn’t like my circumstances and I couldn’t control them and I was faced with a choice: to either throw my hands up at God in question, or to choose to trust him even though I didn’t understand, which I really didn’t. These things aren’t always easy, yet God calls on us to trust him inspite of this. At that moment I just knew I would rather trust in the God who knows the number of hears on my head. The one that has been faithful to His people through the generations. The one who loves them so much He sent His son to die on a cross in their place. Yes, He is the only one worthy of it!
In all of these stories I have noticed a common thread, difficult circumstances, imminent failure according to human logic, weak human beings according to human standards...yet in every single story of trust, God’s faithfulness!

Lastly a verse that you probably already know, but hopefully you will look upon it with new eyes:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6