Some cool lyrics:
Is anybody out there? Is there anyone who hears me tonight?
Because I'm growing tired, tired of always pretending...
Pretending I'm doing fine, pretending I've got it all figured out, pretending that I'm all right, without you, without you...
I used to think my ways were right, it's safe to say I didn't see this coming, you know I didn't see you coming
And now I'm getting tired, so sick of my own voice, tired of my own voice
Pretending I'm doing fine, pretending I've got it all figured out, pretending that I'm all right, without you, without you...
God I know you're out there, I know you hear me tonight, I know you hear me tonight
Long ago I lost count of all the times I let you down, all the times I let you down
But then I heard you say to me, won't you come home to me son...
Forgiven oh so completely, adopted so unconditionally, alive in you, show me what to do... I'm yours
Forgiven oh so completely, adopted so unconditionally, alive in you, show me what to do... I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours...
Thursday, 03 December 2009
Thursday, 04 June 2009
Compromised life
My blog is called "Uncompromising life...". I clearly chose that because my aim is to run my race as such, and in ideal circumstances, if I was perfect, I would of course be able to do this. Yet, (*news flash*) I'm not! This can sometimes be a pretty frustrating thing and I can truly identify with Paul when he says in Romans:
"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing."..."What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"
So what do I do when I trip and find myself on the floor with bloody knees and sandy hands!? I guess the "right" answer would be to pick myself off the floor, clean myself up and keep moving forward. I suppose that works too in perfect circumstances. But life, and the world is far from perfect and so am I. I could pretend that it's easy to get up, that once you decide to move forward you don't fall again, that your wound heals instantly, but you know as well as I that it wouldn't be reality.
My reality is both victory and failure, there are times I know I have leant as much as humanly possible on God, where He has been my number one focus, and all I did was to please Him and draw others close to Him. Yet sadly, there have also been so many times I have not. So many things I wish I could go back and change. I could take back what I did, grab those hurtful, damaging words that flew too easily out of my mouth, rectify the wrong that I did and the hurt I caused, and somehow apologise for that which I did. But alas, time never did go backwards, and words can never be unspoken, and some apologies are not enough to undo what damage is done...
My reality seems more like the cycle of the Israelites in the time of judges. A regretable cycle of failing and repentance... I am glad though that it is not just a downward spiral!
And then I can also identify with Paul's words that follow: "Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
I am thankful that God is at work in me, and He never lets me onto that downward spiral. I am thankful that there is victory through Christ, and that He is the one who saves me from my body of death! That He is true and He is always constant. And that, even though it doesn't always logically make sense I know He can be trusted.
"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing."..."What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"
So what do I do when I trip and find myself on the floor with bloody knees and sandy hands!? I guess the "right" answer would be to pick myself off the floor, clean myself up and keep moving forward. I suppose that works too in perfect circumstances. But life, and the world is far from perfect and so am I. I could pretend that it's easy to get up, that once you decide to move forward you don't fall again, that your wound heals instantly, but you know as well as I that it wouldn't be reality.
My reality is both victory and failure, there are times I know I have leant as much as humanly possible on God, where He has been my number one focus, and all I did was to please Him and draw others close to Him. Yet sadly, there have also been so many times I have not. So many things I wish I could go back and change. I could take back what I did, grab those hurtful, damaging words that flew too easily out of my mouth, rectify the wrong that I did and the hurt I caused, and somehow apologise for that which I did. But alas, time never did go backwards, and words can never be unspoken, and some apologies are not enough to undo what damage is done...
My reality seems more like the cycle of the Israelites in the time of judges. A regretable cycle of failing and repentance... I am glad though that it is not just a downward spiral!
And then I can also identify with Paul's words that follow: "Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
I am thankful that God is at work in me, and He never lets me onto that downward spiral. I am thankful that there is victory through Christ, and that He is the one who saves me from my body of death! That He is true and He is always constant. And that, even though it doesn't always logically make sense I know He can be trusted.
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